Noddy Goes to Jail
by Debs dragon
Summary: Fic 4 in the Pre-schooler arc. Goku has convinced Vegea to join him yet again in a childrens show; this time he's also dragged Piccolo in for the ride.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the DBZ gang a rich Japanese man does. Also I don't own Noddy or any of the other characters associated with him, they belong to Enid Blyton. I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted imagination.

Rating: PG 13

Warnings: Torture and ridicule of another Children's tv icon, angst, violence, name calling, bad driving and abuse of a dog.

Notes: Well here is yet another destruction in the pre-schoolers arc. Seems I just can't help myself lately. Please note that I have scoured the net for info on Noddy but there isn't a lot out there, so any discrepancies are purely of my own doing.

Fic 4 in the Pre schooler Arc

" Noddy Goes to Jail "

June 2003 Debs-dragon

Part 1

Vegeta snickered from the side of the set where he was dressed in a policeman's uniform. Piccolo did not look amused and Goku was doing his best to convince the green Namekian that he wanted to do this.

"But it's for the kids, Piccolo, I promise you it's only the one episode and then you can go back to laying eggs, or whatever else it is you want to do."

"I can't see why you need to have me in this; Vegeta seems to be doing a pretty good job of helping you out," Piccolo huffed.

"This episode calls for three of us, Piccolo. I can't do it without you, and think of how disappointed the kids will be if they don't get their daily dose of pre-school shows!" Goku pleaded.

Piccolo rolled his eyes and held up his hands in defense. "Okay, okay. I give up. Just this once though, Goku."

"Thanks, Piccolo. You won't regret it, I promise."

Vegeta slunk away, an evil grin on his face.

##

Narrator: "It was going to be a fine day in Toy Town, the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, creatures were stirring and a warm breeze a-blowing. The residents of Toy Town were slowly waking up to greet the new day...

The alarm buzzed loudly and an arm snaked out of the bedcovers to silence it with a thump. The poor gadget was reduced to a bunch of springs, cogs and other bits of metal. A pair of large ears poked out from under the bedclothes and surveyed the damage. "You killed it, Noddy."

"I can always get a new one," replied Noddy, aka Goku, as he yawned and stretched. "Come on, it's time to get up." Noddy slid out of the bedclothes and pulled on his shorts, shirt and jacket.

Big Ears, (aka Piccolo), watched from under the doona as Noddy reached for his cap hanging from the bedpost. With several tinkles from the bell adorning the hat, it was finally pulled into place.

"I'll go start breakfast," Noddy said, and disappeared from the room.

Big Ears rolled over and groaned as he pulled himself from the bed. "Welcome to another day in Toy Town," he muttered as he dragged on his own outfit - complete with cap - and sauntered down to the kitchen and hopefully breakfast.

Noddy rummaged around in the kitchen cupboards, his little bell tinkling madly as he scavenged for something edible. Big Ears strolled in and paused at the sight. Shaking his head, he sat at the table and waited patiently.

"I can't find anything, Big Ears," Noddy said as he turned his attention back to the cupboards.

"Anything in the 'fridge?"

The bell tinkled. "He, he, he, I forgot about the 'fridge." The bell jingled again as Noddy abandoned the cupboards in favor of the 'fridge. "Aha! We have success!" Noddy backed out of the 'fridge clutching a tub of margarine, loaf of bread and what appeared to be a couple of eggs. With bell still a-tinkling, he busied himself at the stove.

Moments later, Big Ears found himself with a glass of orange juice, a boiled egg and slices of toast placed in front of him. He stared at the offerings.

"Go ahead, Big Ears, eat up. It's important to have a well balanced breakfast, you know," said Noddy as he proceeded to slice off the top of his egg and then cut his toast up into little 'soldiers'.

Piccolo shuddered.

"What's wrong, Big Ears? Would you like me to cut your toast up for you like mine?" Noddy reached over to do as promised when a large, green hand stopped him.

"I can manage, Gok… Noddy."

"Then is it your egg? I can cook it a little longer if you prefer."

Piccolo leaned over and whispered in Goku's ear. "I am _not _a cannibal."

"Oh." Goku looked at Piccolo, and then to the innocent egg. "Whoops. Sorry about that." Noddy quickly removed the offending egg from Big Ears' plate.

Piccolo gave Goku a *look*, then quickly downed his orange juice and swallowed the toast. Standing up he paused to address the camera. "It's important to clean your teeth after eating." Turning stiffly, he walked out of the room, black shoes thumping as he went.

Noddy quickly demolished his food and took the dishes to the sink to wash up. His bell again tinkled merrily as he bobbed his head to unheard music.

#

Narrator: "When both Noddy and Big Ears had finished their chores, they decided to take a little trip into Toy Town and pick up some more groceries, not to mention a new alarm clock."

Noddy headed outside to the small garage that housed his car. The sunlight streamed in when he opened up the garage door, bouncing off the bright yellow paintwork and nearly blinding him in the process. Big Ears joined him after a moment, and the pair climbed in.

"Good morning, little car," Noddy said politely as he fiddled with the ignition switch.

"Parp!" replied the car.

Big Ears fastened his seat belt… Tightly.

Noddy managed to get the car started, and while he waited for it to warm up a little, he fastened his own seat belt. "All set, Big Ears?" he asked his house mate.

Big Ears crossed himself, sent a small prayer to any god that was listening and nodded. Taking a firm hold of the dashboard with white-knuckled fingers, he braced himself.

Noddy revved the little car and released the clutch. The small car shot out of the garage and careened down the driveway, trimming the hedge as it went before shooting out onto the road.

Big Ears reluctantly lifted one hand from the dashboard to pull his beard away from his eyes, and then wished he hadn't as they bore down on an oncoming car. "Umm… Noddy?"

"Yes, Big Ears?"

"Aren't you supposed to be on the other side of the road?"

"No. This is the correct side."

"Err... Noddy?"

"Yes?"

"This isn't America, this is England and they drive on the left."

"Oh."

The little car screeched in protest as the wheel was spun to the left. Metal screamed as layers of paint were exchanged between the two vehicles and Big Ears took the chance to look back over his shoulder at the car they had sideswiped. _"Strange... "_ he thought to himself, staring at the angry waving figure of the Gollywog. _"I always thought Gollywogs were black, not white..."_

Noddy continued to drive on, oblivious to his passenger's discomfort or the angry threats hurled his way by other motorists. Finally, they pulled up outside the supermarket, with minimal damage to the car (other than the scraped paintwork) and Big Ears feeling glad he'd had the foresight to bring a change of striped pants.

"I'll call back for you in about an hour, shall I, Big Ears?" Noddy asked.

"I can walk home, Noddy," came the curt reply.

"No way, not with all those groceries. I'll just drop off the dry-cleaning and then come back for you, all right?"

Big Ears sighed in defeat and made a mental note to purchase fresh underwear as well as update his health insurance. "Okay, Noddy. I'll see you soon." Big Ears walked off into the supermarket.

Noddy bobbed his head vigorously in the affirmative, causing the bell to jangle loudly, before slamming the gears home and pulling a disgusted "Parp!" from the little car.

Traffic screeched and horns blared as Noddy coasted out into the flow of traffic, unconcerned with the havoc he was causing. He continued on until he spotted the road that would take him to the dry cleaners. With a yank on the wheel, the car turned the corner on two wheels, and then settled back to four with a thump. Noddy coasted down the road and parked outside the dry cleaners. He was in and out in a matter of moments and once more was on his way.

He decided to take a bit of a tour around the neighborhood, maybe stop by the video store and pick up a couple of discs to watch that evening with Big Ears. He didn't see the dog that ran out in front of the car...

*Thud… Thud*

The little car jerked as it bounced over something. "Geeze, they sure are making these speed humps bigger and bigger. I wonder if they have a clue what that does to the suspension," Noddy mused, bell tinkling in agreement. He continued to drive on for a few moments and then...

"Peee... paww... peee... paww... peee... paww..."

Noddy looked up into the rear vision mirror and his eyes opened wide. What on earth did Mr Plodd the policeman want with him?

###

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the DBZ gang a rich Japanese man does. Also I don't own Noddy or any of the other characters associated with him, they belong to Enid Blyton. I'm just borrowing them for my own twisted imagination.

Rating: PG 13

Warnings: Torture and ridicule of another Children's tv icon, angst, violence, name calling, bad driving and abuse of a dog.

Notes: Well here is yet another destruction in the pre-schoolers arc. Seems I just can't help myself lately. Please note that I have scoured the net for info on Noddy but there isn't a lot out there, so any discrepancies are purely of my own doing.

" Noddy Goes to Jail "

June 2003 Debs-dragon

Part 2

Noticing the sirens and flashing lights in his rear view mirror, Noddy thought he had better pull over.

Three garbage cans, two pedestrians and one curb later, Noddy brought the little car to a halt and switched off the engine. The car gave a "Parp" of relief. He waited patiently for Mr Plodd to approach.

"Good morning, Mr Plodd. Lovely day, isn't it?"

"Quit with the pleasantries already. Tell me Kak - Noddy, have you any idea why I pulled you over?"

"Umm..." The little bell tinkled. "You wanted to say hello?"

"Wrong."

"Err... You need my help for something?"

"Certainly not."

"You need a lift?"

"Would I be driving my own car if I needed a lift?"

"Good point."

Mr Plodd was becoming impatient. His foot began to tap at the pavement as his eyes narrowed.

Noddy swallowed nervously. "I guess you're going to have to tell me."

"How long have you had your license?"

"Is this a trick question?"

Mr Plodd, aka Vegeta, rolled his eyes. "Show me your license."

"Umm... Hang on while I try to find it, okay?" Noddy began to check his pockets... He reached for the glove box...

… Several minutes later...

"I can't seem to find it." Noddy's bell tinkled loudly.

"Step out of the car."

"Uh... Okay." Goku undid his seatbelt and opened the door. "Now what?"

Mr Plodd reached behind his back and unclipped something from his belt. Bringing the shiny metal objects into view, he snapped them around Noddy's wrists. "I'm arresting you and charging you with failing to produce a license when asked, dangerous driving causing the flattening of a dog, and creating a disturbance."

"Hang on a minute!" Noddy exclaimed, his bell ringing loudly. "What do you mean, 'creating a disturbance'?"

"That damn bell of yours!"

"Oh."

"Come with me to the station, I need to ask you some questions and book you." Vegeta could hardly contain the sneer on his face. Finally, after all this time, he was able to get his own back on Kakarott. This was one pre-school show he didn't mind filling in for.

Noddy sat staring across the wooden table at the empty chair opposite him. He wondered just how long he was going to be here, and what exactly the charges meant. He looked up as Mr Plodd entered. Vegeta went to the other chair and sat down, dropping a sheet of paper on the table as he did so. He cleared his throat.

"I will read the charges to you again and make sure you fully understand them. Failing to produce a license upon demand. Dangerous driving causing the flattening of one dog. Creating a disturbance. Do you understand these charges?"

"No, not really. Could you explain them for me?"

Vegeta sighed; it was going to be a long episode. "Failing to produce a license. That one is simple enough. I asked and you didn't give. Okay?"

Goku shrugged his shoulders. "I concede that point."

"Dangerous driving causing the flattening of one dog."

"That one I don't get."

"You were driving down the side street by the video store when Bumpy the dog happened to stroll across the street. You ran over him."

"I thought that was a speed hump!" Noddy said defensively. "No wonder it was so bumpy."

"Now is not the time to be cracking jokes; have you any idea how many people loved that dog? Not to mention the number of brats that are going to be traumatized for life?" Vegeta was enjoying this. The smirk on his face grew wider.

Noddy hung his head. "I guess I should have been paying better attention to the road."

"Yes, you should have. For someone who preaches about safety and responsibility, you certainly aren't setting a very good example to all the boys and girls, now are you?"

"I guess you got me there."

Mr Plodd turned to the camera. "This is why it is important to understand and obey the road rules, boys and girls, otherwise you might end up running over your own dog and squashing him flat." Vegeta turned back to his 'victim'. "Now for the final charge, creating a disturbance."

Noddy looked up. "I don't see how my bell can create a disturbance."

"Have you any idea how annoying that thing is? Every time you move your blasted head, the thing rings! I've had numerous complaints about it."

"You have?"

"Yes. The storekeepers hate it because every time you're in one of their shops it rings, and they think it's someone entering or leaving the store. They are constantly interrupted by looking to see who it is. The bus driver has had many close calls, as he thinks it's someone ringing the bell to get off the bus. The school has complained because a few times now the children have heard it and thought it was the dismissal bell, so they all left school early, and I'm not even going to go into the telephone debacle."

Goku scratched his head and the bell tinkled again. "Oops, sorry. So what do you suggest I do, then?"

"The magistrate will be here in a couple of days to hear the case and tell you what he wants you to do, but I'd say you can surely kiss the bell goodbye."

Noddy looked up in horror and grabbed the tinkling bell protectively. "I can't lose my bell," he whispered.

Vegeta just smirked. "If you would now follow me, I will fingerprint you and chuck you in a cell until the magistrate gets here."

"Hey, don't I at least get a phone call? I know my rights, I watch all those cop shows on telly you know." Noddy stood defiantly before Mr Plodd.

Mr Plodd sighed. "Yes, you get one phone call. Come with me and I'll take you to the phone, THEN I will fingerprint you and chuck you in a cell."

Noddy followed behind Mr Plodd, still clutching his wayward bell.

#

Big Ears had finished the shopping and was waiting at the curb for Noddy to pick him up when he jumped a mile and whirled around. His mobile phone went off and he'd forgotten the vibration alert was on. The thing buzzed against his hip, and his first thought was that someone was grabbing him on the rear. When the ring tone started to play, he realized his mistake and sheepishly looked around to see if anyone had noticed his impromptu 'dance'. He grabbed for the tiny object and wrestled with the clip as he tried to yank it from the waistband of his pants.

Eventually he succeeded. With minor damage to the phone and major damage to his pants.

"Hello? Hello? Big Ears, is that you?"

"Who else would you expect on this number?" Piccolo growled. "Where the heck are you, Noddy? You're supposed to pick me up, remember?"

"Umm... You're not going to believe this, but I'm at the police station."

"The what!"

"The police station. I'll explain more to you later. Can you come and bail me out, please?"

Big Ears sighed audibly. "I guess I had better. I'll be there shortly." Piccolo disconnected the call and stared at the bags of shopping surrounding his feet. With another loud sigh, he picked up the groceries and went back into the supermarket. It looked like he was going to have to use the home delivery service after all.

#

Noddy sat in his cell rubbing his fingers against his pants, trying to remove the ink from them. He was sure that Mr Plodd didn't need to use so much ink, or have him fingerprinted ten times. His head jerked up when he heard Big Ears' voice.

"I'm here to bail out Noddy."

Moments later, the cell door opened and Noddy found himself being brought out to the 'interrogation' room once more where Big Ears was waiting.

"What's this all about, Noddy?" Piccolo demanded, arms folded across his chest.

"Why don't you sit down and I'll explain everything to you," Goku said, taking a chair himself.

Mr Plodd also sat down and opened the folder he was carrying.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather stand." He failed to add that he didn't think the pin currently holding his pants together (where they had torn from his little altercation with the phone) would stand the strain.

"Suit yourself," Noddy said, his bell beginning to tinkle again. He quickly grabbed it when he saw Mr Plodd's eyebrow arch.

"Will somebody please tell me what is going on? Why have you been arrested?"

"He's been charged with failing to produce a driver's license, dangerous driving causing the flattening of a dog, and creating a disturbance." Mr Plodd reeled off the charges with a smug expression.

"I see. So what do you have to say in your defense, Noddy?"

"Umm... Well, I know I have my license somewhere, I guess I left it at home. As for the dog, I didn't see him run out; I thought it was just a couple of speed bumps..."

"You squished Bumpy the dog?" Big Ears' eyes widened. "Have you any idea what the impact of that will be?"

Noddy nodded, the bell ringing loudly.

"Let me guess, the bell is the disturbance problem?" Big Ears shook his head as Noddy nodded again. He turned to Mr Plodd. "I can find the license for you and insist that he carries it with him at all times in future."

Mr Plodd nodded. Silently.

"As far as the dog goes, it's probably for the best anyway. The damn thing was becoming a bit of a nuisance chasing all the cats away."

"What about the bell?" Mr Plodd asked pointedly.

Big Ears thought for a moment. "I hate that damn bell just as much as the next person. I agree, it has to go."

"What? Not my bell!" Noddy jumped up and tinkled loudly.

Mr Plodd and Big Ears covered their ears. "It's got to go, Noddy," Piccolo stated, and then turned to Mr Plodd. "If you think this is bad, you should try living with the thing. All day and all night, the damn thing is ringing constantly. Half the time I think it's the Avon lady at the door, only to discover it's that bell, and when it IS the Avon Lady, I miss the call because I think it's the bell!"

"But I thought he took the hat off at night," Mr Plodd said.

"Oh he does, but he hangs it on the end of the bed."

"And?"

"Every time he or I roll over, the bed moves and so the thing tinkles again." Big Ears glared at Noddy.

"It's not my fault you toss and turn in your sleep," he said in defense of his bell.

"From now on, you are sleeping on the couch." Big Ears gave Noddy a defiant look.

Mr Plodd looked from one to the other. "You two _sleep_ together?"

"Not anymore," Big Ears replied.

Noddy looked devastated.

Mr Plodd yanked his policeman's manual from his pocket and quickly thumbed through. Finding the page he wanted, he quickly scanned it and his face lit up with a feral grin. He looked from Noddy to Big Ears and back.

"What?" They echoed.

"According to paragraph 5 of sub-section 8-3, clause 119.7 of section 864, it is not allowed for any of the Toy Town characters to share the same bed. Especially when one character wears a bell."

"Huh?" Noddy said, scratching his head.

"It could be detrimental to the mental well-being of young children watching the show."

"Oh come on, tell me this is a joke, Mr Plodd," Big Ears growled.

"Nope. Here, see for yourself." Mr Plodd passed the manual over to Big Ears. Reading the words, his eyes widened in shock and then his cheeks flushed red.

"He's right, Noddy. We're allowed to share the same residence, just not the same bed."

"That doesn't make sense," Noddy complained, his bell seconding his words. "We've been sleeping together for years, and no one has ever complained before. I don't get it. What's so wrong with two friends sharing the same bed?"

Piccolo went from green to red in 0.3 seconds, Vegeta couldn't hold in his snicker, and suddenly the screen went blank...

*We apologize for this break in transmission. Normal services will be resumed once we have spoken with the lawyers and censorship board in relation to this matter. Until further notice, no more episodes of Noddy will be screened. The management.*

~ Fin ~


End file.
